Arranged marriage / Forced marriage
An arranged marriage is a marriage that is established before the involved persons had a relationship or loved each other.
The parents choose their children future husband or wife but respect if their children refuse the chosen partner
The actual definition of an arranged marriage is a marriage that is established before a lengthy relationship. So in a sense, it is the opposite to a love marriage, where marriage would be considered the final step to solidating the relationship.
The extent to which the parents are involved in the process can vary.
In a traditional marriage (not forced), the parents choose their son or daughter's future spouse with only a little input from the soon to be newly-weds. If either the son or daughter refuse the choice, the parents tend to respect their wishes, and will find someone else.The main motivation factor in such marriages is the happiness of the son or daughter, but the standpoint is that "Parents know best." That said, the parents will often exert considerable pressure on their child to marry the person they have chosen, because they do strongly believe that they know best.
Factors in an arranged marriage
In Western societies, physical attraction usually plays a large part in who we initially decide to go out with. But arranged marriages- which are in part based on the assumption that young people will just seek pleasure instead of looking at the big picture, are much more analytical.
The major factors that must be taken into account are:
- Reputation- of the family.
- Vocation- the more prestigious, the better.
- Appearance- height and color are the main traits to consider.
- Values- traditional/ liberal.
- Caste/ Religion.
- Horoscope- must be compatible (this was traditionally true).
- Medical- Hereditary disease is becoming an increasingly important factor.
An arranged marriage is a marriage which is planned and organized by the children's parents.
It is thought that the parents know what is best for their children, therefore they pick a partner for them.
Furthermore they believe that the children can have a better childhood when they do not need to search a partner on their own, because they do not have to be worried that they do not have a partner yet.
The parents select the partner because of different criticisms for example they look for a well paid job, the horoscope match and outward appearance.
When the parents selected a partner the children get to know each other during a meeting with their families.
If the son or daughter does not want to marry the picked person the parents have to accept it and select someone else.
Arranged marriages are very common in India. The most people in India believe that their parents only want the best for them and trust in their decision. It is normal for them that they marry first and get to know each other after that. It is said that they have enough time to learn to love each other after the marriage.
The following link leads to a video which shows the opinions of some Indians:
A forced marriage is a marriage in which one or both of the persons involved is against the wedding.
Many children are affected because their parents promise them to men when they are really young for example to get a bride price or because they are sure that they know what is the best for their children.
A forced marriage often leads to poverty, slavery, violence and abuse.
In a forced marriage, the parents do not allow the future newly-weds to have any say in their choice of spouse. This form of arranged marriage is rare, but in some parts of the world, such as the Middle East, and parts of Africa and Asia, it does exist. If he or she refuses to marry their chosen person, they will be punished, or sometimes, even killed. In most cases, their objection is simply ignored, and the marriage takes place anyway.
A forced marriage is a marriage which forces one or both of the involved people to marry each other. The parents pick a partner for their child and it has to marry the selected person, otherwise the parents will use violence or cast them out because they believe that they know what is the best for their child.
Another reason for forced marriages is a high Dowry, which is a payment from the brides parents to the husbands parents. But the fear to loose honor because of an unmarried child can also be a reason.
Forced marriage often affects female children because their parents promise them to men when they are still very young.
Forced marriages often lead to isolation, lack of education, violence and sexual abuse because the forced person is not allowed to leave the partner.
The following link leads to a video which shows a young girl who escaped from a forced marriage:
One can see that arranged marriages and forced marriages are not the same but many people criticize that the children can only choose someone the parents selected.
Another point is that the people do not marry someone they love and that there is no guarantee that they will like each other or even fall in love in the future therefore an arranged marriage can also lead to isolation and violence.
Nevertheless an arranged marriage is a part of the Indian culture and traditions and a very popular and common way to marry someone.